Saturday, February 11, 2012
1. The cow in panel two was in a band, but quit when her bandmates kept insisting on less cowbell.
2. The pig in panel one has already succombed to frostbite.
3. The chicken in the bucket in panel one is a failed political platform.
4. The duck's feet in panel two were served at a dim sum restaurant along with dolphin fin soup, panstickers, and autumn rolls.
5. The cow in panel one is attempting to make ice cream. Someone needs to tell her that's not how it works.
6. The bunny's head in panel two is sticking out of the snow on a pike, as a lesson to other bunnies.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
1) The policeman in panel one is about to apprehend the little juvenile delinquent for drawing a mustache on the war hero's statue and painting it custard yellow. It's going to take a lot of allowances to pay for the sandblasting. The policeman in panel two is a member of an ultra-authoritarian, dystopian police-state in which merely sitting on a statue of the Great Leader is punishable by up to 15 years in a squalid solitary cell.
2) In panel two, the bird will be arrested for defacing the Propaganda Ministry's sign in honor of the Great Leader:
THE WAR IS OVER
THE INFIDELS ARE DEAD
THE REVOLUTION WAS NOT TELEVISED BUT ALL YOUR MOVEMENTS ARE VIDEOTAPED
ALL HAIL THE GREAT LEADER
BIRD POOP IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
3) The factory in the background of panel one makes printer cartridges. The factory in panel two makes tinned meat, which will be rationed out two cans per family per week. The woman's family has received nothing but sardines in mustard sauce five weeks running.
4) The woman in panel one is wearing the biggest damn pearls I've ever seen. The woman in panel two is wearing a necklace of ping-pong balls, the symbol of the proletariat. The Great Leader led the proletariat in slaughtering the rich, the intellectuals and the atheists, those effete croquet and badminton players. But behind the walls of his gated estate, the Great Leader plays bocce ball.
5) The sun in panel one is an unusual orange color because the sun is entering its red giant state. The sun in panel two is orange because the Great Leader commands it.
6) There is no sixth difference. The Great Leader demands all lists be made of five items.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
1) In panel one, the girl is having a nightmare that she has a test today that she didn't study for. In panel two, the girl is having a nightmare that she went to school in only her underwear. Fortunately, she wears very conservative underwear.
2) The apple in panel one contains a hidden camera to try to catch whether kids are cheating.
3) In panel two, the girl's bugged-out, perfectly spherical eyes mark her as the spawn of Beaker.
4) In panel one, the teacher is cramming for a test. While the teacher takes her test, her proctor will be cramming for a test of his own, and so on, recursively, until the heads of every major university take an exam proctored by an easily-provoked badger. (I was going to say a testy badger before I realized that involved a truly awful unintentional pun.)
5) The test in panel one covers basic arithmetic. The test in panel two covers basic Boolean arithmetic, and is indistinguishable from the first test except for the fact that 1 + 1 = 1. Nobody gets that one right.
6) About 20% of the content of panel one is copied from this puzzle, compared to just 15% of panel two.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
1) The girl in panel one plays Goldilocks in all the school plays, even the ones about Snow White.
2) The cat in panel one has whiskers coming out of its butt. The cat in panel two has loud noises coming out of its butt.
3) The builders of the house in panel two managed to construct it without a door. Holding open houses with a single round window as the only means of entrance and egress has been difficult.
4) The cat in panel two will be impounded for public nudity.
5) The droplets in panel one indicate that the boy in panel one is not drinking through the straw, but attempting to spit into it. Fortunately, the girl's backwash will neutralize his saliva (that's how cooties work, right?).
6) The bird in panel two is not half as astonished by all this as he looks.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
1) The steak in panel one came from Buford Bull.
2) The lobster in panel two will overpower Max Mouse to become Slylock's new sidekick.
3) The lobster in panel one has had enough of Max's poor sartorial choices. "You..." whack! "look..." bam! "stupid in that hat!"
4) The restaurant in panel one is under the impression that a pink steak is done. The restaurant in panel two appears to have served Slylock a chew toy.
5) The restaurant in panel two believes in serving live lobster, and also does not believe in drawn butter.
6) In panel one, Slylock has requested a special chair with a hole in the back. In panel two, he has removed his tail and plans to reattach it later.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
1) In panel two, the policeman is saying, "Look here, sir, does your dog have a concealed weapon permit for that tooth?"
2) The police car in panel one got a gold star for attendance. The police car in panel two got a gold star on its spelling quiz.
3) In panel two, the cat has called the police to file charges against the dog for stalking. In panel one, the dog has called the police to file charges against the man for his mustache. It's just wrong.
4) In panel one, the policeman's partner waiting in the car is a midget. In panel two, the policeman in the foreground is on the beat with Officer Kilroy.
5) The policeman in the foreground in panel one has a see-through visor, so even though you can't see his eyes, he can see you. The policeman in panel two is blind and identifies suspects by echolocation.
6) The cat in panel one is named Marmalade. The cat in panel two is also named Kilroy.
Monday, January 9, 2012
1) The vulture in panel one is attempting to feed soon-to-hatch baby ostriches a bundle of slightly pre-chewed worms, perfect for digestion by little bird tummies. The vulture in panel two is attempting to bash open the eggs with the leftover brain of its latest victim.
2) The animals assembled on the hilltop in panel two are watching in awe, waiting for the ostrich to go totally ballistic on the vulture. The animals assembled on the hilltop in panel one are watching in awe, trying to figure out if the vulture just pooped a big pink wad of something. Maybe no one told him you're not supposed to swallow bubble gum because you can't digest it, says the lion. Maybe vulture poop is naturally pink, says the elephant. Aaaaaahh it's horrible, says the bird.
3) The gorilla in panel two wishes he had thought of that. Ostrich-egg omelets sound so damn good. Maybe with a little sauteed mushroom.
4) The gorilla in panel one has more teeth than the gorilla in panel two because he beat up the tooth fairy.
5) The ostrich in panel one is a six-time lacrosse champion. The ostrich in panel two makes a living cleaning pools.
6) In panel two, the soon-to-hatch baby ostriches will be fed slightly pre-chewed vulture bits.
Friday, January 6, 2012
1) The boy and girl in panel one enjoy engaging in asphyxiation play.
2) The ice fisherman in panel one has died of hypothermia. The ice fisherman in panel two has died of starvation.
3) The bird in panel two does not know how to land.
4) The sucker in panel one is lemon-flavored. The sucker in panel two is Yellow #5-flavored.
5) The rabbit in panel one opens cans of evaporated milk by sticking his teeth over the can and hitting himself on the head.
6) In panel two, the scarf and coat sleeves are hiding the skater's sixth and seventh fingers, and the hat is hiding her third eye.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
You know, there are a few dozen songs that I just absolutely hate having stuck in my head, and "Bus Stop" is one of them. And it gets stuck in my head every time Bob Weber Jr. does a six differences puzzle at a bus stop, which is surprisingly frequent. But no matter! We have six differences to find, and find them we will.
1) The bus in panel one is run by Godot Lines.
2) The boy in the purple coat in panel two is coming to the realization that pencils do not work very well as earmuffs.
3) The book in panel one is Being and Nothingness. The book in panel two is The Monster at the End of This Book: The Unabridged Version.
4) The bus stop sign in panel one was run into by a sedan. The bus stop sign in panel two was run into by a man in a motorized scooter.
5) The boy in the orange cap in panel one will die of hypothermia when, due to his short stature, he becomes covered in snow without anyone noticing.
6) The girl and the boy in the purple coat in panel two are exchanging knowing glances because they're about to pull off the heist of the century.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
1) The snowman in panel one is pretending to be a walrus. The snowman in panel two has developed a taste for meat. The man in panel two will have the misfortune of discovering later that night that the snowman knows he is made of meat.
2) In panel one, the snowman has two eyes made out of coal. In panel two, the snowman has two eyes made out of the tiny, black souls of marketing executives.
3) In panel one, the snowman's tie is rumpled after a night of passion. In panel two, the boy simply has no understanding of how to properly dress a snowman.
4) In panel two, the snowman will get food poisoning from eating an undercooked hot dog.
5) In panel one, the snowman's has a carrot nose. In panel two, the snowman has a nose made from the horn of the rare orange narwhal.
6) In panel one, a bit of snow from the upper window ledge is about to dribble down the back of the man's neck.